Dear Ana,

Things went wrong for us last year. I am glad we are entering 2026 with a clear and lighter mind. I want to have a better and brighter 2026 together.

I was a boy and not a man when handling conflicts. I ran away from problems initially and was overwhelming. I let anger & ego take over me and that was not right.

I took the time to reflect and heal. I hope to show you the kinder, mature and understanding version of me. Not changing for you or to impress you. But have you met someone in your life that makes you want to fix yourself? You are the someone for me. This version of ZS is better for you and I am building him. Let me heal abit. Let me clean the old habits and mindset. Let's heal together.

I am also sorry the feelings got in the way. I liked you for years but never confronted myself. I don't like you in the lustful or a half-hearted way. I like you in the way you show up and how your kindness seeps through. I like you for being bubbly and I enjoy listening to you everyday. Maybe I misinterpreted the friendship. And that's ok.

Feelings don't have to erase 4 years of real hardship and friendship we had. Things don't have to end.

Dear Ana,

It's been 2 months since we last spoke. There is no nice or poetic way to put this.

I just can't get used to not talking to you. I still think, and care about you everyday. I care about your health, your problems, your sleep, and your opinions. I hope you do too.

I'm in New York right now, and have so much to tell you. I want to tell you the city is bustling, and smells like piss. I want to tell you I met the SEC chairman and we are so bullish on what we do. I want to show you the chickens I bought and named after you. But I can't.

Ana, we have a long history before us and I think we can have a long future ahead of us. Like I wrote in my previous letter, feelings don't have to destroy 4 years of hardship and friendship. If it bothers you so much I already said I can drop it — swear on it.

Dear Ana,

You will not see this but in many years, you should read the monthly letters I write. It will be a good memory for you and me.

Today, I wanted to share you this on "defining" love today on my birthday. I hope you'll read it.

People say that many different types of love exists: romantic love, platonic love, familial love, friendship love etc. They say different things about love.

Some say that if you love someone, you should let them go. Others say that if you really love someone, you fight for them.

But love isn't one dimensional. It does not follow one rule, path or definition. No matter what we choose whether to hold on or to let go, love can hurt because of the difficult past.

Dear Ana,

I am sure you are working hard for your finals now.

I wanted to share with you about how I spent my birthday today. I went to meet my masters classmates Mai and Nicole for a catchup. They were the same classmates that travelled to Australia with me. Mai is now doing an internship at a tech firm and it's located at Changi Business Park. She hates it and might consider going back to Vietnam.

Nicole finally got together with her Japanese date Jota-kun. Very tall and handsome man. Can see why she likes him. She's in a marketing agency now doing her internship but I'm not worried about her either because her dad is kinda Indo-Chinese tycoon rich.

I went to meet Kerf and her boyfriend at 3pm. Kerf is a Web3 headhunter and I knew her since my OKX days. Interestingly our conversation wasn't so much about crypto. We spoke about how going to church for the past 2 years changed her approach and mindset, and how god helped her in difficult circumstances. She once had a breakup so bad that she broke apart. I did not share about our story – but I told her I went to church in NYC to pray for you. I prayed that you sleep better, eat better, become happier. I also prayed that you can one day remember our good moments together – allow me a selfish wish please.

Dear Ana,

I wanted to pen this moment down.

I was watching a reel that said that it was such a privilege to have met people we love and hate in this universe, at this very moment. It made me realise it was really not easy for us to have met, connected and formed such a unique and fun friendship.

What a privilege it is to feel the happiness we had, the anger and even the grief. It means that we actually cared and everything did matter.

I can now look back at some of our funny moments, and really hold it dearly to me – and we leave it at that because I actually don't remember the bad times. I am worried I don't articulate this to the best here. The friendship felt like holding a ball of warm and good happiness.

I'm flying to HK for work again. I was thinking about which hotel you stayed at and which dishes you liked best there – maybe I'll go try different dimsums and snap some pics.

Dear Ana,

Today is my last day in HK. Work was great and I managed to meet super interesting funds and partners. I think HK's events are of lower quality because the audience and crowd is just not right.

Today, I want to share an incident with you. I met a young boy and his father at a fishing pond, and they were fishing for guppies. They kept two of the red, golden guppies in a small bucket. The kid actually admired the beauty of it before releasing it back to the pond. The father told his kid:

“If you really like the fish so much, then you know that the fish belongs in the pond. You can love the fish just by admiring and looking at it for a bit.”

Dear Ana,

It would only be fake if I pretend that I don't have down/bad days. Today, let me share about how a typical bad day feels like and what's running through my mind.

I woke up feeling heavy as per usual. Packed my bag and got ready to fly back to Singapore. I obviously noticed you removed me from Instagram. Yes I notice everything.

On one end, I know you're probably still feeling heavy, or my Instagram is reminding you of the bad memories in 2024/2025. I think it is right you are choosing healing. If you found someone who cares for you better, please forget me. If other people deserve more, you deserve the most.

Dear Ana,

This old man is very naggy. Let me write one more short letter for today. I walked about 16km and only had one meal. I am very tired.

I was just looking our old Instagram messages and I kept smiling. I loved how you liked every meme I shared because you watched it. We had some good discussions also.

I probably shared this with you before. Friendship is the highest form of love. Find a friend you're so curious about. You will want to know everything. His/her routine. Meals. Friends. Inner thoughts. Philosophy. Morals. You will want to share this person with everyone you know.

Dear Ana,

I hit my knees against the door today. It hurt a lot. I wanted to tell you this but I can't do so.

I wish you would see why my life became slightly more colourful because of you. You taught me how to enjoy life. How to laugh at anything, and everything. How to have a good time with friends.

You know me better than everybody. I have always tried to make sure everyone else's candle is lit. Really, I want to make sure it's not too hot or too dim.

Dear Ana,

Today I teared up a little. Not out of sadness. I just remembered a few little things that made me so happy.

I remember how you tell me about your hopes and I see your eyes sparkling. I love listening to you about your day. I love seeing you speak of your dreams too.

I also remember me looking at you in the library. I remember us eating fish and chips together. I remember us laughing about dumb things together.

Dear Ana,

Today I'm going for a haircut. Think I'm trying something new. I cried so much that my hair started falling off, LOL. This week is your finals week so I know you're busy.

By the way, I was thinking there is some open space to enter in edtech given that the government is pushing quite a bit for AI innovation now. There's probably some gamified education product we can build to sell it to schools at recurring cost. What do you think about this?

Today's letter is a short one because I'm occupied with some work. Chat soon nana.

Dear Ana,

I thought I saw you. Made my heart stop for a little. I realised we are probably not ready to reunite yet.

I saw this post that says two people can grow into a healthy friendship, only if both can put down the resentment. But the comments with 19K likes says, the resentment never goes away.

It hit me a little hard knowing even if we both grew into the right person, it takes so much for true inner forgiveness to happen. And this made my mind and heart race.

Dear Ana,

I can't really hold it in today. Sorry that I'm crying as I type today's updates.

I just remember it's our 3rd month of not talking. Difficult. Very. Can't hold it in anymore. Wish I can write "I miss you" on a rock and throw it at you. Then you know how much it hurts to miss you everyday.

But one thing for sure, I know if we come back as brand new people, the friendship will be the strongest.

Give me time. I work on it. Everyday. Love you still nana.

Dear Ana,

It's about 9.38am now and I just woke up from a dream. I think I better write it down before I forget. We were saying opening a tuition centre would be so much fun and lucrative. And then I was jumping back and forth time to stop our fights. I teared up and jerked awake.

Ana, today is our 3rd month of no contact. I only want you to know one thing. I hope you feel ok. I still am 100% sure I don't want you as a memory only. The past matters. But the future matters equally.

Still waiting for you silly nana, come back soon.

Dear Ana,

I'm sorry for writing a third letter today. Just a tough day ya.

I accidentally spilled coconut water on the keyboard you guys gave me and it started typing gibberish. I got scared and tried to fix it. I had to disassemble the entire keyboard and I panicked. I started to burst into tears because it's the only thing that I have from you.

I wasn't sad because of the keyboard itself but how it resembled us falling apart. I keep drying it, fixing it and hoping it will be ok. Luckily the keyboard is ok. We are not that lucky.

Ana, I won't give up on you. Somedays I know we both feel difficult, but I want to continue to give us space and time to heal. Please don't give up on me.

Dear Ana,

Today I went to meet Jiaqi for lunch. Just wanted to hear about her job. She's at a oil trading firm now and it's cool that she's trading BRENT and WTI. Trades are only executed at 4.30pm because the market prices are most updated then.

I then took a few business meetings and went home. Today didn't feel so heavy but as I walked and watched people, I realised each of them are living their own complicated lives like us.

I can better articulate what made me angry during our old fights now. I just didn't like to be misunderstood. Nobody does. It hurt extra more because everything came from the heart and soul, genuinely. I'm sorry for my reactions back then.

But I also want to tell you here - you don't have to try anymore. I can wait but you don't have to do it. I am just tired to be the glue for everybody now. Take care always, and enjoy tomorrow with your friends. The baby is very cute.

Love you everyday, but I need to rest my soul more now.